The Vermont Theatre Company announces another of their popular mystery dinner theatre productions, this year a Western, “The Good, The Bad and The Incompetent”, to be presented at the Dummerston Grange in Dummerston, VT on September 18 and 19.

It is June 19, 1881 , and in his tireless attempts to rid the town of Roadkill of the villainous scum that is corrupting their citizens, Judge Waylon Payne takes pride in announcing the capture of the Malevolent Seven, a dastardly conspiracy of criminals that has secretly victimized their fair territory for far too many years. To celebrate this landmark moment in law enforcement, he has erected eight gallows on Main Street:seven for the execution of this thieving, murderous band, and one for good luck. The execution will take place at midnight. As a crowd is expected, we have reserved prime seating for you, our most honored guests and dear friends. You shall be served a sumptuous meal prior to our thrilling main event, which will begin with the hanging of the mysterious masked horseman who masterminded the Seven's unsavory crimes. So, leave your affairs in order, and come join us in this triumphant celebration.

Some of the “characters” guests will meet this evening include:

Butch Chastity (Cristen Rosinski) is the first lady of outlaws. Her all-woman gang are the Amazons of the American West. There's nothing coy or dainty about Butch. She can drink her fellow outlaws under the table; she can hold her own in a game of poker; she can rob a stagecoach in record time; and she can kill a man just as soon as look at him-and often does. In her secret hide-out, a place called the Hole in the Mud, Butch plans the most daring of heists, including her many famed train robberies. It has been rumored that Butch has gotten away with more gold than any outlaw alive.

P'elvis Swagarin (Eric Walther) is a mysterious lone gunslinger who rides into town. Solemn, poker-faced, bowlegged-he's a cowboy's cowboy. Born Peter Elvis Swagarin, he's P'elvis to those who know him. He's a man with no belongings but the shirt on his back, his gun and his saddle....a man who sleeps beneath the icy stars, a horse his only companion. P'elvis appeared out of the prairie heat just two days ago, and ever since he arrived, the whole town of Roadkill has been whispering in hushed tones, wondering who he is and what he wants...

Helena Handcart (Donna Ianetta), matriarch of the Handcart clan and mother of the Handcart boys: all thirteen of them. Billy-Bob, Bobby-Rae, Little Ricky, Martin and Lewis, Harpo, Groucho, Sleepy, Sneezy, Manny, Moe and Jack. Oh-and, of course, the Beav. Unfortunately, she had to bury all thirteen of her sons after they were tragically killed in a shoot-out at a dairy farm. The now infamous gunfight at the Parkkay Corral left her with nothing but memories. A strong woman, she has been able to survive, although most of the time she remains secluded on the sprawling Handcart Ranch, managing the family cattle business. Helena owns half the territory and never lets anyone forget it.

Chief Breaking Wind (Bruce Holloway) is the distinguished leader of the Cowpai tribe-an honorary position these days, since the entire Cowpai tribe fell victim to a mysterious disease several years ago and perished. Still, the stoic chief keeps his traditions alive, trusting that, with his help, the Cowpai will rise again. Unwillingly relieved of his tribal responsibilities, the chief has since opened a successful barber shop in town and, ignorant historical references notwithstanding, hasn't scalped a soul. Still, no one ever angers the chief.

Elvira-Lynn Fekshin (Dawn Grobe) is the consummate soiled dove and makes no bones about it, so to speak. She's known throughout the territory, and there's even that famous saloon song written about her- My Heart Burns for You, and Other Places, Too. She's the proud madam of the Pigeon Ranch, the best little you-know-what in Roadkill. Since Judge Waylon Payne is one of her steadiest clients, the law does a good job of looking the other way. To look at her now, you'd never guess she was born in the gutter and suffered a sickly childhood, battling everything from consumption to bubonic plague. But now she spreads, among other things, sunshine wherever she goes.

Wyatt Hertz (Bob Kramsky) is by far the most famous lawman in the West. He kept the wild frontier town of Roadkill under tight control, keeping the locals in line with an iron fist of fear. That is, until a shotgun blast caught him in the tender parts. Legend has it that Wyatt was ambushed by the vicious Partridge Family gang, and he didn't stand a chance. That was a year ago. Since then, he's retired, letting Judge Waylon Payne reign as both sheriff and justice of the peace. Now Wyatt runs a lucrative rent-a-horse business. He never lost a gunfight, and some folks believe he could take out a whole gunslingin' gang with a single round from his six-shooter.

Dee Adela Muerte (Tracy Therieau) is known as just Adela to her friends. Adela is a Mexican beauty with the most pious of spirits but is plagued by bad luck. She's been thrice-widowed-each time as a newlywed. Her first husband, a local politician, died shamefully during one of his secret outings to the Pigeon Ranch. Her second husband, the town pastor, died while preaching, and her third husband, the town undertaker, keeled over from exhaustion while planting the thirteen Handcart boys. Now poor Adela is left to deliver Sunday sermons and forced to become town undertaker. Still, she knows that she will rise above her misfortune. Until then, she'll continue to wear her black mourning veil.

Elias Truist-Heath (Tony Grobe) is an up-and-coming heart-throb gunfighter. He can dazzle spectators with his quick draw and a spin from his guns, and when he's not showing off his slinging skills, he's demonstrating his pugilistic prowess. He's known as the best brawler west of the Mississippi and comes out of every fight with nary a scratch. Orphaned as a boy, Elias was raised under the firm, wise hand of Judge Waylon Payne. After a patriotic stint with the U.S. Cavalry, Elias returned home to Roadkill and to the women who adore him.

So come join in the fun and chow down with a delicious meal prepared by David’s Catering of Putney, followed by an exciting Roadkill hanging-party. Come dressed for the occasion if you wish to (but check your six-shooters at the door)! The doors will open at 5:30 and the dinner begins at 6:00 pm. Tickets are $32 per person (which includes the dinner and the evening’s entertainment) and a special discount is offered for tables of 10 ($300 for the table). Reservations and advanced payments are required. To make reservations call 802-258-1344. Seating is limited so be sure to reserve today.